Post with 2 notes
Confession.
I’m not trying to make excuses for myself…but, I think if I sat down and analyzed myself more often, I wouldnt be in the predicament I am now. The first step is admitting, so here it goes: I, Alexus Drummond, am by far the most horrible, malicious, selfish, greedy, devious, manipulative person I know……………and that felt so horrible to say.
What makes a bad person? “Things that make people bad are negative qualities like hatred and jealousy, envy and greediness, and also emotions like frustration/anger. All of this contributes to making a person do bad things. For a person to be bad most of the things that they do have to be bad things. We all do bad things sometimes, and sometimes we do bad things for good reasons. you are only a bad person if you intentionally do bad things.”
^^ This is the answer the internet gave me and that of which most people would side with. I have made a lifetime worth of mistakes recently and I dug a hole so deep even I dont know how to get out of it nor am I sure I want to. I do my best to live my life with no regrets because I think if anything, thats the one thing nobody should have…but now I have an endless supply of them. I’ve turned into someone I vowed I’d never be and all I can do is think…”How the hell did I even end up here?” My friends wont even look twice at me, pretty much everyone hates me or feels some type of way about my morality. The only thing that keeps me sane, ironically is the fact that I deserve it. I lied and deceived the people I deemed closest to me…why is it that we treat complete strangers better than those we love? I’ll never understand, but that doesn’t matter because I’ll never make the same mistake again. I used to be a great person, a person of quality…I just want to be the person I used to be. You make your bed and you have to lay in it. I was thinking about going to extremes and ending my life because the pain is too much to bear but who the hell am I to take the easy way out of something I brought upon myself? Right? Right. I’ve decided to just remove myself from everyone’s life. Not on some dramatic, I want attention type whim but because I think the quality of their life will improve tenfold without me in it. I just want people to actually benefit from one of my decisions for once. People tell you something enough times and you start to believe it. I actually believe, from the bottom of my shallow heart, that I am a horrible person. I suck for what I did, those I disappointed, lied to, deceived, acted selfishly towards…and I know I’m not alone in that opinion. Good people dont do the things I did, good people dont hurt others. “Hurt people, hurt people.”
Link reblogged from These Are The Breaks. with 2 notes
These Are The Breaks.: I need clarity. Because you were once mine, but now you belong to... →
I need clarity. Because you were once mine, but now you belong to someone else, and that’s fine - except I still want you. But I don’t wanna share. I want you, all for myself. I want to be able to call you, and not wonder if you hung up with her to talk to me. I want to be in your arms, and not…
Source: doobiesandpopsiclesticks
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